My 6-year old’s fight against dental fear and incompetent dentists. 

My daughter has visited four different dentists this summer. And before I go on you need to be aware of the fact that she is petrified of the dentist. She can talk about it for weeks in advance and when she wakes up in the morning of the visit, she starts off by saying “this is my worse day ever”. So no, it’s not an easy task for her, or her parents. 😬

The first one confirmed she had two serious cavities – one in a milk tooth (not too bad) but one in her permanent tooth (worse). Fortunatley the last one was also the smallest. But they are both located way back in the upper jaw, not an easy place to reach. After confirming the cavities and yelling at me and Tobias for letting it happen, he informed us that they had no time to fix it and left us to organise something ourselves. Jeez, thanks. 

The second was an emergency visit in Jönköping after she felt pain while drinking water. They were extremely nice and squeezed her in the same day and gave her a temporary relief. But that was it. The also confirmed that it had to be fixed and gave us a description of what the problem was.  

The third visit we booked way in advance (private practice). We also informed them thouroughly about the fact that she’s suffering from dental fear and most likely needed to be given a sedative. When they arrived to that appointment nothing was organised and the visit was a dead end yet again. Nothing Tobias said or did could calm her down so that she would let them fix the problem. 😟 So in pure desperation, and as a last resort, Tobias contacted the Eastman Institute, a department located in Stockholm which specializes in children who experience extreme dental fear. They managed to arrange an appointment for her this last Monday. So up to Stockholm they went, hopeful to get it done this time. 

Finally my daughter met a dentist who understood her problem and took it seriously. ❤️ Instead of using awkward tools for taking x-rays (which by the way made her gag the first time), he used a 3D machine and before starting the procedure, he gave her a sedative. Only problem – she cramped up so hard that the sedative didn’t take. 😳 That’s the extent of her panic. It’s uncontrolable and deep down inside I don’t think she can help it. She tries but nothing works.

It was not until the dentist said “ok, this is not going to work” and took off the napkin around her neck that she relaxed enough for the sedative to finally take. But he then took the decision not to follow through with the procedure as it might have been even more damaging to her already exsisting fear. That, and that alone makes me like him even more. Even though I’ve never met the guy. But he understands her.

So instead of having her teeth fixed, my fantastic daughter and her amazing father spent the next hour trying to get the sedative out of her system before embarking on the 4 hour drive back to Jönköping. All while the dentist in charge refused to let her problem go unsolved yet again. According to him there had been “enough bad decisions” made by his colleagues this summer. And my daughter had suffered for it. He understood however that it wouldn’t work with “normal” sedative and that time was of essence (think China next week) so he amazingly organised so that she can undergo full anesthesia at a hospital in Stockholm tomorrow. And believe me when I say, it’s not a normal procedure in Sweden. Full anesthesia is very rare. Problem is, I won’t be there and my mama heart has a hard time coping with that.. 😔 It’s a full anesthesia after all. Honestly, I’m scared shitless. Fortunatley I have the most amazing husband who has been, and continues to be, the most amazing support for our daughter. He’s a rockstar. ❤️

So needless to say, my daughter has had a rough summer break from time to time. But she hasn’t complained and even though the previous dental visits didn’t work, she has given it her best. Fear is not an easy thing to handle. Especially for a 6-year old. So we decided to give her an early birthday treat (she’s turning 7 at the end of the month). For long now she’s been wanting her own computer so that she can play, amongst other things, Minecraft. What can I say, she’s a Miner. So this evening she got to open her package and the look on her face when she understood what it was, was priceless. 😘

I miss you honey and I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. You can do it and I’m so proud of you! 

Love from Kyiv ❤️

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