If I said that life’s a journey you’d probably say what a cliché, right? But it is. What I’ve realised more and more though is that there is one important thing you can’t forget – to enjoy it. And perhaps most of all, to cherish the main traveller on that journey. You. Not you as a partner, a parent or a significant other. Not you as a colleague or friend. You as a person.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I’ve lost my mojo which means I’m not writing as much as I should. And when I don’t write, I think. A lot. Too much to be honest. And a lot of that thinking lately has been about my own journey which is strange since I’ve never really been that comfortable in my own body or mind. But age has changed that in me. It has made me more comfortable in my own skin and with the loud constant noise in my head.
I’ve also realised that I have an enormous need for personal space. Sometimes I need to lock myself in my thoughts and just be. But I can’t get stuck there so I need to be surrounded by people who will drag me out of my lockdown or you may just find me in a very dark place. It gets complicated in there sometimes, trust me. Weblike surroundings with many unresolved issues and fears. It’s a maze.
Music helps to calm the beast however. A lot. Music for me is remedy, an emotional trigger and safe place to get lost. If I had half a descent voice I’d sing constantly. Instead I write. It’s not unusual for me to assign a song to an event in my life or to a person I’ve met. So if you’re a close friend or foe of mine, rest assure I hear a song in my head whenever I see you. I might not tell you which one though. But know this –
My head is never quiet.
Another thing I’ve identified during my intense thinking session is that I need to be OK with being alone with me, myself and I. And my thoughts, no matter how loud my head may be. And I need to do it out of my normal comfort zone.
So I’m taking a couple of days off from everything and going on a vacation with myself. A solo-vacation be as it may. ⭐️ And I’m heading to a place I’ve been longing to explore. I’m heading to the Scottish highlands. I have a need for an abundance of windswept moors and rolling hills, for emptiness and beauty. I have a urge to perch myself on a cliff in the middle of nowhere and put my headphones on.
Love from Stockholm ❤️