Communication, over-thinking and the power of change.

I read a fascinating article on communication the other day. And how we, as a community, reflect our fears and insecurities on our surroundings. That is, of course, true of positive vibes as well. Otherwise a simple smile wouldn’t brighten up a room or create a flood wave of laughter. What we do, and what we say – and most importantly – how we say it, or how we respond to the action, is of major importance. Take for example the sentence “I love you”. When said in a fleeting sentence on the way out of the door, it’s just words, something you acknowledge but don’t really reflect on. But when a person sits opposite you, looks you straight in the eye and says “I love you”, it can be the most powerful sentence of your life.

Take the word hate. As a mom it’s a word we’ve probably heard, or will hear it, from our own kids throughout their teenage years. God knows I’ve delivered some of my own outbursts to my mother during my worst years.. but even if we hear our teenage kids scream “I hate you, you’re the worst mom ever” we know deep down that it’s more frustration than anything. But imagine it in written form, in permanent ink, written on your school bench “I hate you”. Or sprayed onto your property just because you’re different than others. Then hate has a different meaning. So delivery, of any message, is so important. Verbally or non-verbally.

As a society we are easily distracted and persuaded into believing that things are what they seem. I vividly remember a discussion we had around advertising during my university years in Liverpool and how one of my fellow classmates was convinced that she had never bought a product just because she had seen it on the TV. Never, no way. Passive persuasion was not in the cards for her, a figment of society’s imagination. All while I claimed that passive persuasion is all around us, not simply by advertisements but also from friends and family, colleagues, things you watch, music you listen to and books you read. I love a good debate so that was an interesting one..

Naturally, we all communicate differently. And I’m not saying that one way is better than the other. I’m simply saying that silence can be equally powerful. Especially if it’s interpreted wrongly.

I am an over-thinker by nature. Trust me – if you were to ask one of my best friends whom I’ve known since I was a teenager, he’d back this up. An over-thinker needs to be surrounded by communicators. Or at least people who aren’t afraid of being honest and straightforward. We hate games. Just tell us instead. Because even if we don’t agree or if the truth hurts, we’ll get over it. Quickly. An over-thinker needs someone to vent to, to discuss with, and most of all, someone who puts us back on the ground or get us out of our heads if needed to. It’s a fantastic trait to have when writing for example. I can get stuck in a chapter or character and zoom in completely. I just need to get back out when I’m finished.

Weirdly enough, it’s a trait I can switch on/off when I need to. That’s why I think that I “use” my over-thinking side when I need to be creative. Or when I need to be “in control”. Because let’s face it, that’s where it’s all based, in the fact that we want to control our own narrative. We are, after all, only human. ☺️

Love from Stockholm ❤️

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